Jokes & stories 

GETTING OLDER TEXTING CODES
•: ATD - at the doctor.
BFF - best friend fell.
BTW - bring the wheelchair.
BYOT - bring your own teeth.
FWIW - forgot where I was.
WDICIHF - what did I come in here for?
GGPBL - gotta go, pacemaker battery low.
IMHO - is my hearing aid on?
LMDO - laughing my dentures out.
WTB - where's the beef?
GHA - got heartburn again.
GGRN - gotta go, gota go, gota go RITE now.
IPM - I pooped myself.
OMMR - on my massage recliner.
IFCGU - I've fallen & can't get up.

HUMOR;

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'"

=======

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?"...

Well, summer is officially over, and school starts today here in NYC. Even though I am light years beyond school age, that old familiar need to buy new notebooks and pens still hits me every September...So for those of you seeking to rev up your gray matter, get those pens and notebooks ready for today's lesson which was sent to me by a friend:

"The History of Piss Poor..."

"Centuries ago, people used urine to tan animal skins, so families would all pee in a large communal pot, and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you...